Uggggg....This Is So Irritating

Have you ever watched in amazement at the things that irritate people? Recently I watched as someone came unglued over the most silly thing. It was something that bugged them that someone else had done. I would give the details but there’s a strong possibility that the one whom I watched get extremely irritated may read these words. And so I’ll spare the details to avoid embarrassing someone but then again, not sharing the details of what I observed will likely be the source of irritation for some. It’s going to irritate them to not know if I might be referring to them.

And part of the reason that some might be wondering if I’m writing about them is because all of us so often get irritated. It seems to be a part of our daily experience. I even found myself irritated with the one who I watched get irritated about something that really wasn’t worth them losing their peace over. But then I got thinking that I was losing my own peace over someone who had lost theirs. How dumb is that? The whole experience did serve to cause me to spend some time thinking about my own “people” irritations and how often my “at peace” scale gets tipped towards anger.

Irritations spring from many sources. We get irritated with the details of our personal life. It may be something about health, our attitudes, our habits, or about how we look. We get irritated with the people around us. The things people do and say at times can really get under our skin. We get irritated about the environment we live in which includes everything from our home environment to our work environment to our church environment.

The question that has been rolling through my mind is, at what cost? What is the cost of my personal irritations when what people do and say aggravate me? What is the cost to work environments, home environments, church environments when irritated people dot those landscapes in such high numbers? The reason that I ask is because the things that aggravate us usually influence our attitudes and actions. Now, I can’t speak to what your observations are but it is my observation that we are living in a time filled with angry and bitter people on varying levels and at differing degrees. But the end result is always the same. We are more often than not people who don’t know peace within and with one another. There’s an uneasy tension…. an almost fear that at any given moment what irritates us or someone else is going reach the pressure point and explode. And the result is that sadly, many people lead lives of one volatile encounter after another and don’t know why or how to overcome the inner turmoil that so often takes them captive.

Now clearly there are some irritations that can be resolved. For example, a squeaky door hinge can be oiled. An annoying personal habit can be changed. An angry neighbor can be calmed. We just have to be willing to do what it takes to resolve these issues.

However it’s beyond our power to resolve all irritations. For example, there are people who may have personality traits that annoy me, people's driving habits might not get worked out to my satisfaction, or a physical problem could affect the way I have to live. These things are outside of my power to change but how I choose to respond to these issues is significant. In this learning to live loved journey it is becoming clearer that I can use unavoidable irritations to increase my sensitivity to the needs of others. They can be the source to expand opportunities to bring healing to someone who obviously has some deep unresolved hurt. But they also can serve to develop within me more inward character that makes it second nature for me to think before I react to what irritates me.

Now do I always get it right? Absolutely not. There are times when I get so irritated that I want to give some folks a slap across the back of their head which I’m sure they would like to do with me as well. The fact is that perfection doesn’t exist in any of us despite the expectations we may have of one another. That’s why so often when people are irritated we respond by defending ourselves, we’ll blame others, or get angry. These responses do not resolve the irritation but instead set me on a path toward more anger and frustration.

The truth is that when I react wrongly to irritations, I forfeit the benefits they can provide. However, as I respond to them with insight and proper action, I get to live out the transforming experience of the “renewed mind” that Paul talked about. I like renewal. I need renewal. It's just irritating that renewal takes so long. I guess that's why this truly is a journey of learning to live loved.