Living In A Present State of Happiness
Are most people happy? Dennis Wholey the author of, “Are You Happy?” reports that according to expert opinion, perhaps only 20 percent of people are happy. Those experts would probably agree with the wry definition of happiness offered by psychiatrist Thomas Szasz, who said, “Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead, now usually attributed by adults to children and by children to adults.”
It just seems to me that there are a lot of unhappy people around these days. The reasons are numerous but without question it is always someone else that is to blame for it. It would be almost laughable if it were not so sad to listen to or read the blame statements that are leveled against others for someone’s unhappiness. In so many ways everything about some people from emotional health to spiritual health, from their sense of worth to their state of being and yes their happiness seems to be dependant and controlled by someone else. No wonder authoritarian personalities are so easily enabled to continue in their dysfunctional behaviors.
However the reality is that many times the unhappiness people experience has nothing to do with anyone but themselves. Most often unhappiness is directly attributable to the choices and decisions that people have made in their lives and now they are reaping the benefits. At times I just shake my head in disbelief and sadness wondering why. Why would people say they are weary of all the garbage in their life that makes them so unhappy but then continue to happily hang out at the dump? It’s just sad how some will continue to make self destructive choices rather than acknowledge that their choice making track record is weak at best and therefore they might should consider seeking help in making wiser choices.
Other times unhappiness can be directly attributed to the messages that we’re flooded with. The relentless message is that there’s something we’re supposed to do to be happy.... make the right choices, or have the right set of beliefs about ourselves. And then these messages get coupled with the notion that happiness is a permanent condition. If we’re not smiling all the time, we conclude there’s a problem.
Several years ago in an interview during his battle with cancer, theologian Francis Schaeffer said, “The only way to be foolishly happy in this world is to be young enough, well enough, and have money enough.... and not give a care about other people. But as soon as you don’t have any of the first three, or if you have compassion for the weeping world around you, then it is impossible to have the foolish kind of happiness that I believe some Christians present as Christianity.”
In other words happiness as defined by many is some sappy condition that is dependent and controlled by our situations and circumstances. Now with that said, I’d suggest that what most of us experience is not a permanent state of happiness. It is something more ordinary; a mixture of what essayist Hugh Prather once called “unsolved problems, ambiguous victories and vague defeats.... with few moments of clear peace.”
It seems to me that happiness is more like a visitor. You can’t command or demand that it to come to visit; you can only appreciate it when it does show up. But then neither can you force happiness to stay.... but you can make sure you are aware of it when you experience it.
Happiness is an attitude, not a condition. It’s stripping off materials from a leaky roof while listening to birds singing and watching spring butterflies, or spending a pleasant hour working with a dog that just doesn’t get it. Happiness is a twelve hour drive to see your family. Really all I’m trying to say is that happiness is in the present, not in the distant promise of a “someday when...”. How much luckier we are and how much more happiness we experience when we can fall in love with the life we’re living…. a life loved by Father.