The Words We Use Can Be Misleading

Have you ever used a word in a conversation and attached a meaning to the word that it actually didn’t have? It’s likely that we all have. Many times the reason this happens is simply because we don’t consider the words we use and their meanings. Just consider the number of disagreements that have developed because of a misunderstanding that developed over the meaning of a word that was used. How many arguments have resulted when people bring to the conversation differing meanings for the same word that is being used? How much relational harm has resulted because we use or have missed out on the nuances in the meaning of the words we use? I would suggest that it happens more often that any of us realize.

For example lately I’ve been thinking about how the words encouragement and affirmation are often used. Most people would say that there is a difference in meaning between the two words. However when I listen to how these words are used it appears they are being given the same meaning.

Encouragement and affirmation is not the same thing. For years I used them as two different words describing the same general thought. However, as of late I’ve been thinking that when they are given the same meaning we miss out on a powerful dynamic of loving others.

Consider the differences that there are between affirmation and encouragement. Affirmation is patting someone on the back for something they’ve done. It is to agree with something that is being done or has been done. To affirm is to suggest that the way of doing things should continue. Encouragement is different. Encouragement is patting someone on the back for something they have not done yet, but can do. It’s a challenge to walk a different path. It’s a call to journey down a different road. It is to stimulate desire in another to try another approach.

Affirmation is what a young person gets for bringing home a report card with good grades. Encouragement is what parents do to spur the child to bring home better grades than they are presently getting.

Affirmations is what a person receives when they have done something well and are successful. Encouragement is what a person receives when they have failed that challenges them not to quit or give up.

Affirmation is what you get when it becomes apparent that you made the right decision. Encouragement is what you get from those who love you that you will make the right decision…. even though you’re not sure you can.

Affirmation is receiving any kind of recognition for something you have done well. Encouragement is that pat on the back people give you to let you know they believe in you and support you no matter what.

Affirmation is something you will always like to receive because it not only is an agreement for what you have done but it affirms who we are. Encouragement is something that may not be always what we like because for one to truly love another they may have to reveal to us the insanity of our actions, thoughts or words.

There is plenty of affirmation going on that is deserved. But there are many more people who need to be encouraged. They need to be encouraged not to give up…. not to quit…. to keep going…. to be told they can do it…. that they aren’t a failure but that they are loved! However along with that, there are others that need to hear the encouraging words, “I love you too much to let you continue down this destructive path without saying a word about what you are doing and where you are headed.”

Maybe we need some courage to truly encourage. Maybe we need to learn to live better what it means to love.