A Powerful Weed-Eater

I got angry. There I’ve said it! Now when I say I got angry I mean I really got angry. I wasn’t irritated. I wasn’t frustrated. I wasn’t fuming. I wasn’t ticked off. I was “blood boiling, stay clear because it might be harmful to your health” type of angry. What was it that made me so angry? I’ll tell you. However, before I do please understand that if you are tempted to laugh about it or mock me, I am still feeling very sensitive and quite vulnerable, and so I ask that you be kind. So, here goes. What made me so angry? My weed-eater that is supposed to advance string wouldn’t and the line kept breaking…. not just once or twice but likely somewhere in the neighborhood of twelve times in the span of thirty minutes. I was almost in tears over the whole thing until I finally had sense enough to do a reality check and ask myself what in the world had just happened to me. In fact I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole event and my anger since it happened.

One of the marked characteristics of our age is the prevalence of anger. Anger is all around and everywhere. We see anger from the freeway to the fairway; from the places we work to the places we call home; from the playground to holy ground. Anger seems to be etched into people's lives. More people seem to be angry and on edge than ever before! Why? Where does our anger come from? Well, probably from a lot of places, but here are a few:

Anger comes when we feel cheated. When things don't turn out like we thought they would: our jobs, our marriages, our kids, our neighborhoods, our cities, our country, our world. Anger often comes when we feel cheated.

Anger comes when we feel powerless. When things are beyond our control. What used to take years and decades can now happen in a few weeks or even a few days. We can literally wake up in the morning and read the paper or hear the news the company has been sold, or your net worth dropped 50%, or you find out your kids are on drugs, or your parents are divorced. And all you did was go to bed for a few hours, and you awoke to a new world.

Anger comes when we feel trivialized or dehumanized. One of the worst feelings in the world is to not be taken serious; or to be used; or worst of all, abused! Anger is a way that we fight back and assert our humanity and our worth. In the face of being dehumanized, anger is the way we keep the fires of self worth burning; but it only works for so long until it becomes counter productive.

Anger is one of those things that need to be understood better. Anger is usually coming from somewhere. Look carefully at each situation. What evoked the anger? A person? A mistake you made? Your pride being hurt? A memory button was pushed? Someone spoke unkindly to you? Someone you loved was hurt? You witnessed an injustice? In others words pay attention to that which made you make the choice to get angry.

Here is what I’ve discovered about myself. When I get angry, too often I’m angry because my definition of what good is has been infringed upon. I’m still in the process of learning that what is good isn’t necessarily according to my definition or on my terms of what good should be.

God is good. What that doesn’t mean is that my circumstances will be good. Weed eaters still won’t work right. People will get hurt. Sickness happens. Untimely death occurs. Bad things happen to good people. But instead of being angry I need to learn better who is good rather than getting angry about my unmet demands for what is good. This is what the journey into living loved is about. It’s about resting in his love that trusts he is at work for my good in all things. In other words in the end good will conqueor.